Weißt du, wieviel? Do you know how much?
by eren christ
Summary: In which Eren finds Rivaille in a messed up state because of his dark past and Eren sings him a lullaby to calm him down. The song is in German, and since everyone is doing a cutesy/smuty language thing I decided to write something dark. \( q )/ !


**AN:** HI I DECIDED TO JUMP INTO THE LANGUAGE BANDWAGON AND WROTE A FIC ABOUT EREN SPEAKING GERMAN TO CALM RIVAILLE DOWN.

Rivaille remembering his dark past

as in

he used to be sexually abused

n

pls dont throw rocks

i have 2 chapters of Contact to be published ok ok (and they have smut nyhehehe)

im sorry

kissu

**TW: ABUSE AND YEAH.**

* * *

This was unbelievable.

Him, Corporal Rivaille, adorned the title: "Humanity's strongest", was curled up in a tight ball, heavy tan arms encasing him.

The sheets underneath his head shuffled as he looked up at the baby tanned face of Eren Jaeger. A small scowl painted the Corporal's pale face as he struggled slightly to get out of the teen's caging arms.

After his struggles deemed worthless, he let out a grumpy sigh and settled for snuggling closer to the warm teen.

It had been a really long time since the short man ever felt such safety near anyone. To be honest, the Corporal hasn't felt this comfortable with anyone, ever.

He reached a skinny arm over Eren's waist and brought himself closer to the tall teen. A small grunt was heard from the boy and the smaller man froze, waking Eren from his sleep was the last thing that the Corporal needed. He had no intention of letting the other boy see him so vulnerable. Rivaille relaxed as a small sigh left those thin lips and he found those tan arms wrapping themselves tighter around him.

A small mark of irritation appeared on Rivaille's cheek as Eren dug his face into the raven's hair, but instead of pushing the teen away, the Corporal simply dug his face deeper into his tanned collar.

_He smells like sweat... Gross._

* * *

A low whistle left Eren lips as he look out of the window of the Recon Corps. headquarters. The sky was setting off a wonder of colors as lightning painted the gloomy dark sky followed by loud ear splitting booms of thunder, yet no rain poured.

"Damn... Hate to be stuck in that," he winced slightly and continued his trek to the Corporal's room. In hand was a tray of dinner. Since the small man was absent for dinner the whole team was worried and ordered the newly recruited teen to deliver the food. Turning the corner of the stone corridor, Eren spotted a small light from under the crack of the Corporal's room.

Stopping short in front of the door, Eren knocked. He remembered the last time he walked in without knocking and cringed comically.

"Corporal... Sir?" Eren called. He stood looking at his shoes as he waited the man's permission to enter. Nothing.

Shrugging, Eren tugged the wooden door open, "Sir?" He called out.

Gold eyes swept over the small room and landed on a small figure curled up in a tight ball in a corner of the room, holding fistfuls of his own hair. Short ragged breaths left the cowering man's lips as his entire being quivered like a fallen leaf. Eren's eyes flared open as he dropped the tray on food on the ground and dash over to the crouching figure.

"CORPORAL!" He shouted as he gathered the small man in his arms, "What's wrong?" Wrapping his large arms around his senior's shivering figure, he gave the corporal a tight squeeze, "Hey!"

Eren could feel the way the smaller man shivered violently against his larger form, but what worried him most was the fast erratic breathing that was exiting the man's lips. He slightly flinched as the tiny man dug his sharp finger nails into the bare skin of his arm. Eren soon regretted rolling up his sleeves before as he felt those talon like nails digging straight through his flesh.

"C-corporal!" He hissed out in pain, "Please stop, you're hurting me...!"

Colorless orbs flashed open as Rivaille flung his head back and let out a shriek filled with horror. The tall brunette wanted nothing more than to cover his ears with his hands, but the tight grip that Rivaille had on him lead no way of escape.

_Flashes of evil smirks and horrendous laughter filled the room along with Rivaille's muffled cries for help._

_He knew people could hear him in the dark alleyway he was trapped in, yet no one came to save him... They all turned a blind eye._

_He didn't know why people did this to him, especially the older men. He didn't know why they called him a doll or found any means of attraction towards him. He was young and useless, living out on the streets._

_Yet, they still manage their way with him, always leaving him cold, tired, and in indescribable pain._

_They left him to fend for himself as he walked limply out of the dark alleyway, with nowhere else to turn._

_"C'mere little one," they would say, their breaths reeking with alcohol, "Let uncle show you something."_

_Booming thunder, the sound of heavy footsteps, his scared whimpers echoing through the night._

"SIR!" Eren shouted of the shrill cries of his superior, "IT'S ALRIGHT! I'M HERE, PLEASE LET ME BEAR YOUR PAIN!" The young brunette thought his throat would burst on fire as he closed his eyes shut, screaming at the top of his lungs.

The cries from the shorter man abruptly stopped as his horror stricken eyes landed on Eren. His expression was unreadable, it was like a white spotless canvas destroyed with harsh and unforgiving strokes of a brush. Those thin eyebrows furrowed menacingly as the corporal aimed a harsh punch to the teenager.

_Another one!_

An alarm went through Rivaille's mind.

_Another one who want's their way with me!_

Eren yelped as he held his tanned palm to his nose. "What the hell!?" Eren barked as he watched the small man slowly rise to his feet, "What was that for, Corporal!?"

"Get your filthy hands off of me," the smaller male growled out inhumanely.

Eren stuttered, "I-? _What?_" A small flame of anger flicked in his normally innocent eyes, "This is the thanks I get for helping you?"

"YOU WEREN'T HELPING ME!" Never could anyone imagine such a deafening roar to leave such a small and petite man, "YOU JUST WANT TO USE ME!" Rivaille began to stomp his feet, eyes ablaze with a hidden force, "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME WITH YOUR UNCLEAN HANDS!"

Eren quirked a thick eyebrow, "_HAH_?" Now the both of them were yelling, "What the hell are you trying to sa-"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU," Rivaille's voice was filled with desperation, the kind of voice you hear when someone was about to break down and cry, "STOP USING ME FOR YOUR OWN SICK FANTASIES!"

_Stop it... Stop._

_Just leave me alone._

It was then when the towering corporal sank to the ground, pale face buried in his palms, "Please, just stop touching me... I beg of you..."

It finally snapped in Eren's mind, the first warning that Squad Leader Hanji had given him.

_"Make sure you don't touch the Corporal too much... He's not a big fan of physical contact."_

Now Eren understood. Something must have gone wrong in the small corporal's younger days that got him a bad case of Haphephobia. The tall brunette heard a small _plip _and directed his attention to the cobble stone lined open window and awaited for the sounds of rain on the way. He sat still listening to the harsh breathing of the smaller man and waited for the harsh downpour. Noting that it was probably his imagination, Eren reverted his eyes to the crumpled form of the great corporal.

It was him.

He made the _plip_ noise. Teal eyes widened as he rushed to the older man and harshly pushed him onto the cold floor. He didn't care if he was on the receiving end of brutal kicks and harsh punching, he shouted at the smaller man as he saw the thick line of blood trailing from the other's lips.

"What are you doing!?" Eren shouted roughly, eyes burning into Rivaille's skull.

"Leave me alone, brat." At least he was back to normal, but Eren was filled with obstinate and hidden worry.

_I need to be cleaned._

"What are you trying to do?" Teal orbs flickered to the unnerving bite mark that made its presence loud and clear on the Corporal's wrist. Without waiting for the other to answer, Eren continued, "What is happening to you, Sir?"

Dull, hooded steel eyes flickered away from Eren's stare. A small _tch_ left his lips before he reached a long-nailed hand to his neck. Pressing his nails deep into his skin, creating an opening, Rivaille dragged his hand down bringing along with it a trail of dark red blood along with a thin layer of flesh.

_I need... Clean... To be cleansed... Clean..._

_I want to die._

Eren screamed as he tried to pull away the offending hand, "STOP!" He yelled in a voice not many have heard from him, a voice filled with fear and desperation, "CORPORAL STOP PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU!" Managing to pull the hand away, Eren couldn't deny the feeling of something sharp begin to prickle at the corner's of his eyes, tears.

Thunder boomed outside the window followed by a harsh cold wind.

_Thunder..._

_Cold wind..._

_It reminds me of how fucking dirty I am._

_Save me._

"Rivaille... I need you to stop," the brunette let out a choked sob, "I'll do anything, I just need you to stop..." He buried his head of short brown locks into the pale man's neck, scrunching his eyes shut.

Steel eyes lazily trailed their way to Eren's dirty boot and slowly lowered his head on top of Eren's. "You want me to...stop?"

"Yes!" Eren's cry was muffled as he dug his leaking eyes into the crevice of his superior's neck.

"Then make me stop," came the reply from the male encased in Eren's arms, "Find a way Eren..."

Eren looked up and locked his orbs with the steel one's that landed directly on him.

"Find a way..."

The Corporal needn't say more as the brunette's thin lips clashed eagerly onto his. Immediately, the smaller man looped his long arms around Eren's neck and latched his skinny fingers onto the younger boy's scalp.

Eren's strong hands found themselves on Rivaille's bony hips and clutched strongly onto them. pulling him closer and deepening their frenzied kisses. A quick flick of the older man's tongue got Eren to open his mouth rather eagerly and began to glide the wet appendage along the Corporal's. The brunette has never felt so much emotion as he did in the small make-out session he was having with the man he admired.

He started to see stars as those once dangerous nails began to massage and comb sensually through his hair. Opening his mouth to let out a small moan was a mistake as Rivaille forcefully attacked him. The smaller man left no space abused as he nipped viciously as Eren's lips, gum and tongue. A long groan left the tan teen's lips as he was pushed back and felt a heavy force on his stomach.

Teal orbs cracked open to see Rivaille hoovering over him with an unreadable expression painted on his face.

He released his lips from the other boy as he suttered out, "C-corporal-?"

Steel eyes looked down coldly at him. He lowered his head down and Eren flinched, thinking that he would get punished for the small lip war he started.

"Rivaille..." The small raven breathed, his scent washing over Eren like a tide of mint and lust, "Call me... Rivaille." A small kiss was placed on the teen's lips before a small _poof _was heard as Rivaille placed his head softly on Eren's chest.

A blush spread willingly across the tan boy's checks as he tested the name on his tongue, "Rivaille..." He called out, a small smile spreading through his lips.

"Rivaille," he said again, watching as the head of black locks shuffled on his chest.

"Rrrrrivaille," Eren cooed that time and smirked as he watched the tip of those snow pale ears sprinkle with a cherry soft blush.

"Ri-"

"Stop abusing my name..." The snort was patent, but Eren could also hear the hint of a laugh.

A low chuckle rumbled in his chest as the teen began to relax. He felt Rivaille's thin fingers ghost up and down his torso and stomach repeatedly in a soothing manner. It dawned on him that he should be the one soothing the other and that lead to his muscled arms wrapping protectively around Rivaille as his palms rubbed calming circles on the Corporal's sharp shoulders. Slowly closing his teal eyes, Eren began to sing.

"_Weißt du, wieviel Sternlein stehen an dem blauen Himmelszelt?_"

Wondrous steel eyes gazed up as the boy he rested on began to sing in a foreign tune. He couldn't quite put his tongue on what language it was, but Rivaille was sure he heard it when Erwin was speaking to a foreigner. Shrugging it off, the small man rested his head once again on Eren's tough chest and allowed his tight muscles to relax.

"_Weißt du, wieviel Wolken ziehen weithin über alle Welt?_"

Rivaille didn't care if he could barely understand the soul lifting gibberish that was leaving the young soldier's lips, all he cared about was the warm feeling of Eren's arms wrapped around him protectively and the thought of feeling so incredibly safe. He clutched his long fingers harder on the boy's used to be crisp white collared shirt as he felt a constricting feeling in his chest, a feeling he thought he had long forgotten.

"_Gott der Herr hat sie gezählet, daß ihm auch nicht eines fehlet._" Eren's voice lowered dramatically as he sang the song fluently. His mother had used to sing this song to him whenever he woke up at night with terrible dreams in tow. He'd heard it so many times, along with Mikasa of course, that he could see the lyrics etched in his mind's eye. It had been a long time since he had heard or sang this song, since Mikasa had thought that the tan teen had grown out of the stage where the girl had to sing this song to calm him. It's quite a funny story actually.

"_An der ganzen großen Zahl,_" The verse was barely above a whisper. Teal eyes strayed to the head of raven locks that spread haphazardly across his chest. He could hear the low even breathing of his Corporal and the guessed that the older man had fallen asleep. After a tantrum that like, who wouldn't be exhausted.

"_An der ganzen großen Zahl..._" Eren finished the song softly, lengthening the last part until his lungs gave way. A small sigh left his lips and rustled the Corporal's hair. The teen had too started to feel tired, glancing over at the wooden clock that that ticked slowly in a sleepy rhythm, Eren dragged his heavy arms around the small man and hoisted him up bridal style.

He placed the heavier than he looks man onto his neatly done bed and silently slipped his hands away from underneath. Stretching his arms above his head, Eren let out a yawn and began to head towards the door, but was stopped abruptly with a tug from his shirt. Teal eyes flickered to the curled up form of the Corporal and quirked an eyebrow.

"Stay," was the low voice that left the pale male's lips, "Stay..." This time at the end of his sentence, the lanky man's voice cracked.

Eren's heart wrenched at the desperation he heard in the great man's voice. Never in a million years would he have thought to hear such a forlorn tone in Rivaille's voice.

"Of course," the bed creaked as the tall teen slowly, cautiously curled his form around the corporal's. He held his superior tightly against his chest and ran his finger's through his thick mane.

"...ove you..."

Eren perked his ears, "What was that?" He looked at the small male curled tightly into a ball, his whole body almost entirely encased in Eren's larger form.

"I love you..." Words spilled out of the man's lips quickly as he hid his burning face into Eren's chest.

Teal eyes widened in shock, then slowly curved into an expression of glee, "Lying is a sin, Sir..."

* * *

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhi

dont use google translate on the lyrics

google translate is shit

so instead look at the site where i actually got the lyrics

german . about od / music / a / German - Lullabies . htm

[[psst just erase all of the spaces]]

-liam


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